The Marketplace

Situations Wanted — One boy, tireless, offers to jump any puddle in the township at no charge, on the understanding that he keeps whatever he finds at the bottom of it. Boots his own. Enquire on Westler Road, and mind the mud.

Lost — One glass figurine, shepherdess, chipped at the base and dear to its owner regardless. Last seen upon a bookshelf, and heard some hours later upon the floor. No blame is assigned. A small grey party is known to climb.

For Sale — Beeswax by the block, worked warm into the leather and left overnight, after which your boots will outlast you. We make no promise as to your socks. Ask at the Shoe Shop.

Found — A quantity of pumpkins, sound and floating, recovered along the low road some distance from any field that could rightly claim them. Owner may describe them at the Mercantile. Rennells has already been by twice.

Services — Rooms dried and damp drawn out, by the old method — a bowl of salt beneath the bed and left the night. The salt is good for nothing after and we shall take it away with us. Reasonable rates while the weather holds as it does.

Wanted — One patient soul to see a goose bathed. She has been told the tale of the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker twice already and will not be caught by it a third time. Enquire at the Rhymes household. Bring a bucket you do not love.

Notices — The Town Council thanks the citizens of Westler for their attendance at the meeting lately held, and considers the matter of the Horner boy closed. He remains among us. The Council will hear no further petitions upon it.

In Memoriam — Mrs. Markum, these forty years schoolteacher to this valley, taken at the Town Hall on the evening she rose to speak. She asked that a boy be guided rather than sent away, and the town has undertaken to do it. There is no notice this paper would rather not have printed.

To Let — Nothing at present on the low ground, and the Voice would counsel against enquiring until the water is off it. Higher lots may be had. The house on the hill is not among them and never has been.

Personal — To the party spreading it about the mercantile that a man saved his wife upon a floating pumpkin: the Voice has looked into the matter and finds the account true in every particular. We are as surprised as you are. It was the wife who saw it coming.

A Word from the Bakery — We are across the crick and we are still baking, whatever you have heard. The oven house is dry, the footbridge holds, and the nut pie is on as usual come Minadiddy season. Bring a basket and steady boots.

Meetings — The Schoolhouse resumes upon the water’s falling. Slates provided; dry stockings expected; kissing in the yard firmly discouraged, following the unpleasantness of last term.

Livestock — Improved fencing now up along the north pasture at Uncle Mac’s, the matter of the Lord Mayor’s animals having been settled between the parties. The pig is not for sale. The Voice has been asked to state that twice.

Carting & Haulage — Waggon and team available for the moving of feed, seed, furniture and whatever else the water has lately relocated on your behalf. Fair rates, careful hands, and we do not stop to talk. Enquire at the east end of Main Street.

Feed & Grain — Sacks split in the hauling are down at the foot of the loft and marked accordingly, Mr. Grit having pointed them out himself rather than wait to be asked. He opens before the rest of Main Street, on the understanding that somebody’s animal might not be reasoned with at that hour. Whatever extra thing you do find at the bottom of your sack, he did not put it there.

In Closing — The Voice thanks its good merchants and its patient readers both, and hopes to print a drier issue next season. Notices may be left at the Mercantile counter, on the high shelf.