The Westler Valley Voice
The Marketplace
The Marketplace
Page Seven · Notices, Advertisements & Small BillsSituations Wanted — One boy, tireless, offers to jump any puddle in the township at no charge, on the understandin’ that he keeps whatever he finds at the bottom of it. Boots his own. Enquire on Westler Road, and mind the mud.
Lost — One glass figurine, shepherdess, chipped at the base and dear to its owner regardless. Last seen upon a bookshelf, and heard some hours later upon the floor. No blame is assigned. A small grey party is known to climb.
The Almanac
Rain through the week and rain past it, with the creek over its bank at the low fields and the footbridge crossable only by the determined. The moon is up there somewhere. The valley has not seen its like in a hundred and eighteen years, and would thank it not to call again so soon.
For Sale — Beeswax by the block, worked warm into the leather and left overnight, after which your boots will outlast you. We make no promise as to your socks. Ask at the Cobbler’s.
Found — A quantity of pumpkins, sound and floating, recovered along the low road some distance from any field that could rightly claim them. Owner may describe them at the Mercantile. Rennells has already been by twice.
Services — Rooms dried and damp drawn out, by the old method — a bowl of salt beneath the bed and left the night. The salt is good for nothing after and we shall take it away with us. Reasonable rates while the weather holds as it does.
Wanted — One patient soul to see a goose bathed. She has been told the tale of the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker twice already and will not be caught by it a third time. Enquire at the Rhymes household. Bring a bucket you do not love.
At Market This Week
Root crops down and mud up, as you would expect. Pumpkins plentiful and lately mobile. Eggs steady, though the Dickens farm reports a dozen unaccounted for and last seen following a goose. Sweet cream holding, the cows being indoors and in poor humour about it.
Notices — The Town Council thanks the citizens of Westler for their attendance at the meeting lately held, and considers the matter of the Horner boy closed. He remains among us. The Council will hear no further petitions upon it.
In Memoriam — Mrs. Markum, these forty years schoolteacher to this valley, taken at the Town Hall on the evening she rose to speak. She asked that a boy be guided rather than sent away, and the town has undertaken to do it. There is no notice this paper would rather not have printed.
To Let — Nothing at present on the low ground, and the Voice would counsel against enquiring until the water is off it. Higher lots may be had. The house on the hill is not among them and never has been.
Personal — To the party spreadin’ it about the mercantile that a man saved his wife upon a floatin’ pumpkin: the Voice has looked into the matter and finds the account true in every particular. We are as surprised as you are. It was the wife who saw it comin’.
A Word from the Bakery — We are across the crick and we are still bakin’, whatever you have heard. The oven house is dry, the footbridge holds, and the nut pie is on as usual come Minadiddy season. Bring a basket and steady boots.
Meetings — The Schoolhouse resumes upon the water’s falling. Slates provided; dry stockings expected; kissing in the yard firmly discouraged, following the unpleasantness of last term.
Livestock — Improved fencing now up along the north pasture at Uncle Mac’s, the matter of the Lord Mayor’s animals having been settled between the parties. The pig is not for sale. The Voice has been asked to state that twice.
In Closing — The Voice thanks its good merchants and its patient readers both, and hopes to print a drier issue next season. Notices may be left at the Mercantile counter, on the high shelf.